when you have guests over and your mom is all..
leilockheart: wowfunniestposts: but as soon as they leave, she’s all …
Friend: Why don't you have a boyfriend?
Me: Because I'm a hot pot of rice who don't need no side dish.
12th graders: ew 11th graders
11th graders: ew 10th graders
10th graders: ew 9th graders
9th graders: ew middle schoolers
middle schoolers: ew elementary kids
elementary kids: ew babies
babies: ew fetus
fetus: ew wait how am i talking
-When asked whether he had any sharp objects at Heathrow airport-
Stephen Fry: Only my tongue, sir.
my "friend": Homosexual people are disgusting. They should understand that love can exist only between a man and a woman.
me: Do you love your boyfriend?
my "friend": Of course! I love him so much. You can't even imagine. I've never been so in love in my life. I want to marry him.
me: So please imagine now that your boyfriend's penis disappears and suddenly he has a vagina. Nothing else changes in him, he's still the same person you know. What is your reaction?
my "friend": That would be horrible. I don't want to even think about it. I couldn't imagine being with him.
me: That means you don't love him. You love only his dick. That's sad.
I hate when a website says "Are You A Human"
heyfunniest: No I’m a vacuum.